


Stay Alive For Me

by whereyoustand



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Gen, M/M, Mental Health Issues, References to Depression, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-14
Updated: 2019-11-14
Packaged: 2021-01-30 20:47:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21434461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whereyoustand/pseuds/whereyoustand
Summary: Andrew reminded Jeffree of himself just a few years ago; numb, unsociable, putting himself down.ORAndrew is going through a hard time, Shane, Jeffree, and Ryland don't realise how bad it is until Shane convinces Andrew to stay over.
Relationships: Ryland Adams/Shane Dawson
Kudos: 36





	Stay Alive For Me

"Andrew, are you getting in the photo with us?" Shane asked as he took a seat next to Jeffree.

Andrea blinked. "Oh no. No, it's okay. It's your guys' work."

"You helped too!" Shane pointed out. Andrew just scrunched up his nose and shook his head.

As the two of them took the photos, Jeffree realised how much Andrew had changed. Andrew reminded Jeffree of himself just a few years okay; numb, unsociable, putting himself down. At first, Jeffree thought it was something to do with the idea that Andrew was shy but after the year of knowing and working with him, Jeffree realised it was more than that.  
After photos were taken, Jeffree pulled Shane and whispered into his ear, "Is Andrew okay?"

"I don't know." Shane murmured.

They pulled out from a hug and smiled at everyone, pretending that the worry the was feeling for their friend, wasn't seeping through their veins

It was just the three of them together at Shane's after a long day of shooting. Andrew was on his phone just scrolling as Shane and Jeffree talked about nothing in particular.

Jeffree looked at Shane slightly and motioned to Andrew with a slight movement of his head.

Shane nodded and turned to face Andrew more.

"Andrew. We'd like to talk to you." Shane said, softly. Andrew locked his phone and looked up at Shane with a soft smile, indicating for him to go on.

"Andrew, we know you've been feeling a bit off and we wanted to check if you're alright," Shane stated. Andrew's smile dropped and he turned to look at Jeffree who was squinting at Andrew as if he was trying to figure him out.

"I appreciate the concern guys but I'm okay." Andrew smiled thinly and wiped his sweaty hands on his thighs.

"Andrew," Jeffree started firmly. "I can see the signs that you aren't feeling right. It's been going since we started this project."

"You seem a lot more down and we want to help you." Shane smiled as soft as he could.

Andrew shook his head. "I don't need your help. I can handle it by myself." He stood up and made his way to the door. "I'm thankful for the concern but it doesn't matter."

"If you walk out that door, you're fired!" Jeffree exclaimed, Andrew froze. "You tell us what's going on so we can help you." He made his way over to where Andrew was stood, hand hovering over the handle. Shane followed.

"What's going on?" Andrew sighed at Shane's question.

They stayed silent for a minute before Andrew turned to them.

"I tried to kill myself. And I don't trust myself to not try again." The pair gaped at the younger man before Shane started crying.

"Fuck. Why didn't you tell us?" He sobbed.

"Because I didn't want you to stop me," Andrew stated.

"What did you do last time?" Jeffree asked.

Andrew didn't say anything but instead rolled up his sleeves to show them his bandaged arm.

"Why are they bandaged? Was it that long ago?" Shane asked as he held Andrew's arm softly.

"I just bandaged them in case that reopened whilst we're at the warehouse and meetings. So in case, I catch it and it bleeds." Andrew explained. "I did it a few months ago. Look, I'm seriously tired. I'm going home."

"We can't leave you alone like this!" Jeffree barked out, hurt seeping through his voice.

"Where else am I supposed to go?" Andrew asked.

"Stay here tonight," Shane suggested. "I'll let you borrow some of the spare clothes or we can go by yours and pick them up?"

"Thank you," Andrew whispered.

Shane nodded and smiled before guiding Andrew down the hallway to the spare room. After an outfit change, Jeffree left to go home, and Shane and Andrew got settled into bed.  
  
  
Shane's phone started ringing loudly at about 1 AM. He saw Andrew's contact and sighed thinking he was up editing again.

"If you're editing, I'm gonna be so mad," Shane warned jokingly. "Why are you calling me? You're only a hallway away from me?"

"Shane?" Andrew's voice choked out.

"Hey, buddy. What's up?" Shane asked softly.

"I'm stuck," Andrew whispered.

"Where are you stuck?"

"I'm stuck in the bath. Don't want to come out." Andrew whimpered.

"It's okay. Do you need me to come in or just talk?" Shane sat up in bed.

"I don't know. Shane, it's right there!" Andrew whimpered.

"Okay Keep breathing. You're okay!" Shane said as calm as he could.

"Shane?"

"Yes, Andrew?"

"I need it." He sobbed.

"No! No, you don't!" Shane pushed. "Look, I know you're scared but you need to be brave for me."

"I can't-" Andrew was cut off with a full-body sob.

"Andrew, I'm outside the door, I'm coming in!" Shane warned. But when Shane opened the door, nothing would prepare him for the sight of Andrew with his sleeves rolled up in the bathtub and blood trickling down his arm.

"Andrew?" Shane's voice was barely there as he ran forward and wrapped Andrew's arm with a towel. "You're okay, you're okay, you're okay," Shane repeated but he couldn't tell if it was to Andrew or himself.

"Shane?" Andrew slurred.

"Hey, buddy." Shane smiled. "Can you get out so I can clean you up?" Shane thanked God that the cuts weren't too deep. He didn't know if he could emotionally handle that.

Shane helped Andrew out of the bath and walked him to the lounge. Shane sat Andrew down on the couch as he whispered, "Can I get Ryland to help?"

Andrew nodded. "Yeah."

Shane yelled out Ryland's name three times when he finally came stumbling out of bed to see what the fuss was about.

"Do you know what time it- Oh my God!" Ryland exclaimed, running into the kitchen to grab their first aid box. The engaged couple closely worked with Andrew, dabbing his cuts with rubbing alcohol after the hand been cleaned. Shane carefully wrapped the cuts with a bandage before placing a gentle kiss on it.

"We love you so much," He whispered, his smile soft and forced.

"I'm scared," Andrew mumbled honestly.

"It's okay to be scared. Next time you get stuck in the bathroom, you call anyone. Whether it's me, Ry, Morgan, Garrett. Hell, even Jeffree will help. We all want to help."

"I waste everyone's time." Andrew sighed.

"No, you don't." Shane shook his head. "Everyone second I have with you is the best. I think I can speak for all of us when I say, you mean so much to us and we want you to stay alive. I know the night is scary but the sun is going to rise and you can try again!"

"You'll have support from us." Ryland stroked Andrew's arm. "For as long as you need us." Tears ran freely from Andrew's eyes as he got overwhelmed in love with his friends.

"I want to get better." He closed his eyes as he whispered.

"I'm proud of you for that." Shane smiled. "We're all proud of you for that. You have to let us help you. It's going to be a long, hard road, but we are all willing to go down it with you."

"If you need, you can stay here for however long you need." Ryland offered.

Andrew let out an ugly sob, "Thank you!"

Shane and Ryland pulled him into a hug and shared a look. They were going to make sure Andrew would get better whether it'd be the last thing they'd do.


End file.
